Hi, I’ve been trying to figure out what I could tell you…
Big points for me were, I wanted to be skilled up to give my wife her meds at home. To support her so didn’t have to leave home.
We loved doing puzzles while waiting in the Oncology department and I have no idea why. It was really lovely that there was a tea-round on a trolley that visited the waiting area too. Stupid thing I know but it was a relief to see a cup of tea coming my way.
I felt quite involved in my wife’s journey. I found lots of clinicians and so forth very supportive by and large. However, what stands out for me now is how quickly the door closes when the loved one dies.
I’m not sure I’m ever going to recover from losing my wife – I’m actually not sure I want to.
It’s hard with Melanoma as you have, in so many cases, often lost your loved one several months before they actually pass. You begin to grieve months before they die and then when the inevitable happens, it hits like a brick and you start all over again. The utter lack of hope attached to Melanoma is debilitating. I spent months trying to be upbeat and positive but crumbling inside. Personally, the pain is just too great to even consider dealing with.
My perspective is largely positive from the point of clinicians and the hospice. But my wife’s journey was a shared one… when she left, the door was closed on me too and all the support and care offered when my wife was alive, was cut down and so in a way… I felt doubly bereft.
Thank you for sharing your story, re-enforces why we support all those effected by Melanoma